We have had a most interesting situation at work lately. My office is in what is termed a "historic home". The building where I work is the old Burgess Home from the 1850's. As you can imagine, there are many quirks in an old home like this. One of those came up a few weeks ago in our sewer system. Those pipes were probably almost 100 years old. To make a long story short we have been walking to a nearby restaurant to take care of business for almost 3 weeks now.
I don't mind the walk but it throws a wrinkle in a quirk that I have. What I am about to share is kind of gross so if you are grossed out with talk of bowel movements and the like, I encourage you to check out another blog, maybe like this one here:
http://warmpuppies.com/
Anyway, so I am quite regular with my movements except for one thing, I can only go at my office. This was true no matter where I have worked over the years. I will go once a day but only on weekdays. It is very rare that I can go at home on the weekends and never at home at night or morning. This becomes difficult on Sunday nights or on trips because I am not in my normal environment to be taking care of business and therefore can be a little (said in a whisper)gassy. I tell you all this because for the most part this is a quirk that I have learned to live with and for the most part I can lead a normal and happy life. But it is at this time of the year that this quirk of mine shoots to the forefront and this is because of the marathon.
It is very important to me that I have a movement the day before the marathon, on Friday, so I don't have to go during the marathon. I prefer to go that Friday afternoon but I will accept anytime that day. But at the same time, it is always nice to take that day off, relax, go to the marathon expo, get in the marathon spirit and get caught up in the excitement and soak in the atmosphere. Herein lies the problem though, I still need to go to work so I can take care of business. I know it is weird to come into work just to use the restroom, and unless our pipes get fixed this week I will actually be going to The Painted Pony this Friday to go:
http://www.painted-pony.com/
But the last 2 years this is exactly what I have done with great success, not visited The Painted Pony, but come to work just for the BM. Have you ever been on I-80 and passed Battle Mountain, Nevada and seen the big letters B and M on the mountain? Look for it next time. So everyone, please keep your fingers crossed that this year I will be as successful as I have been in previous years. No, not in the marathon itself, in the pre-marathon bodily ridding of the waste. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
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7 comments:
Let me tell you my secret: Runny oatmeal. Sounds gross, but it works for me everytime. As early as possible the morning of your race, make 2 packets of instant oatmeal, extra runny. Make it runny enough to drink, and you'll be running to the toilet before your race.
My husband is exactly the opposite. He won't "sit down" anywhere besides home, unless it is a "doo-doo or die" situation.
I really think your wife and children would still love you, even if you stunk up the bathroom at home...
Runny Oatmeal huh? I can't risk it. I would have to practice eating runny oatmeal and test it first. Most people won't go anywhere BUT home. I don't like to go anywhere but work. My wife and kids would probably love me more for keeping my stink just in the bathroom but what can you do? That ship has sailed.
shayne, why don't you just hold it for a couple hours then you can get on a good cycle and do your business at home unless you like sharing germs with your coworkers.
That's not how it works J, it just stays there until something bad happens or until I get to work again. Trust me, I have tried everything. I have decided it is better just to quit fighting it and adapt to it.
See, I have this friend. Ok, husband of a good friend. When he poops he has to GO HOME AND SHOWER after he does it. WHAT??!! No joke. I'm pretty sure he usually holds it until the night or morning but seriously, this guy will shower whenever he takes a ka ka.
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