No they never taught us what was real

I made a very significant change in my life not too long ago. It's the kind of change that I think life is all about. I mean, are we not here to constantly improve, to constantly strive to be better? I feel that we are. So in the spirit of becoming a better person, I decided to move my shower schedule from 3 times a week to 4.

I am one of the unluckiest people I know. I do believe that you make your own luck so much of that is my fault but it seems like, when I compare myself to others around me, if something silly is going to happen, it will happen to me. But there is one thing I have always had that has been so nice in life and that is the power to not have BO.

I know what you are thinking. Everyone has BO, people just THINK they don't have BO cuz they are used to their smell or something. But this is not the case with me. I will and have asked strangers off the street if I smell. They smell me and say "what, did you just shower?" and I say, "no, just got done playing basketball".

The problem with showering 3 times a week is there are 7 days in a week. You do the math, that means there are 2 days there where a shower does not happen. This is too much for a normal man. I used to do Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday morning. So Saturday was kind of a pushing it day. If I was going out or something I would go crazy and shower on Saturday but usually I could make it from Thurs to Sunday.

Lately though I have been trying to exercise more. I have been going to the gym and trying to do some sort of exercise every day. This has made it necessary that I go from 3 shower days a week to 4. Now I am Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday AND Sunday. I have been going to the gym Saturdays and even though I still smell fresh and crisp, I have found it best to shower after the gym nearly every time.

If you don't believe me, you can smell for yourself.

Also, the song Allentown by Billy Joel is one of the best songs ever. Go to Seeqpod and enter it in right now for a listen.

Good Morning, how are you?

When I worked in Houston I was on the "international team" and I worked with a guy from Argentina named Juan. When I first started he helped me a lot with questions and the initial training and aspects of the position.

I used to get to work at 7am and he would get there at 8. I would start to work on a project from when I arrived in the morning and invariably I would have a question by 8. So at 8 I would shuffle 3 cubicles down and I would say:

"Juan, when you are in 222-1, what does the 'Holdback' field do?"

And Juan would turn to me as he was settling in for the day and say:

"Good morning Shayne, how are you today?"

And that would remind me of what an idiot I was. What kind of a rude person just walks up to someone and starts talking to them without first saying hello or greeting them in anyway? Well, unfortunatly a lot of people do that. I appreciated the lesson though very much.

Sad it took me 25 years to learn this valuable lesson. People should greet each other and ask how each other is doing before they get down to business. Simple.

Releasing our Girls names

Well, since we will not be having another child vaginally unless that child is guaranteed to have a penis, it is time that we release our much heralded girl baby names. I have had this list since I was in high school so it is very near and dear to me.

Throwing this out there is kind of like telling everyone you are going on a diet or doing a marathon. You really want to do it but wonder if you can actually do what is necessary to accomplish the task so for extra motivation you tell everyone you know in hopes that they will hold you to it and the potential embarrassment of not getting it done will motivate you to train, not eat, or whatever.

So we have decided we don't want any more kids if there is a chance it could be another girl. We have discussed it at length and said it over and over and over again. So hopefully throwing these names out there will be a motivator to do what we want to do but wonder if we can actually go thorough with which is not have any more kids.

I have not ruled out adoption or that procedure where you choose the sex but my pocketbook has ruled both of them highly doubtful.

So here are our girl baby names. Feel free to use them. Like most other things released like this, this is first come first served. If you can get yourself knocked up first you are in the drivers seat. Good luck. I am sure the boys names will follow soon. Here is the girls list:

Harper (Kate was Harper until she came out)
Sloan (girlfriend of Ferris Bueller)
Mayzie (Daisy head Mayzie, Dr Seuss book)
Margot
Parker
Laney
Micah (Kate's middle name, my great grandfathers middle name)
Terygan or Terragan (this one is on the boy list too so I hesitate to release it but I doubt anyone would use it but me. There is that Lemonheads song where "pepper, salt, sugar, and tarragon, were hangin by the pool".

I liked Harper for a long time but I think Sloan is #1 for me right now. I can't wait to see little Sloan crawling around soon. I hope I get to hold her and then give her back to her parents.

Sugar and Spice and Peeing sitting Down

I am 100% in favor of full-disclosure when it comes to my girls. When my oldest asked about the Tooth Fairy, I had to tell her. I don't offer up these things but if I am asked I have to tell the truth.

This is true of talk of sex, male and female genitalia, and now menstruation as well. A stray tampon in the kitchen, of all places, led to a talk about what a tampon is which led us to a brief discussion about what happens to boys and girls bodies as they get older. Needless to say, at the end of the conversation, not only did she not want to grow up, she did not want to be a girl anymore.

We talked about the different things or roles that boys and girls have. Girls get to have babies, pee sitting down, wear bras, and get monthly visits from aunt flow. I was trying to think of something terrible that boys do, I mentioned they usually work all day but I had a hard time coming up with anything else bad about being a boy.

One thing I mentioned is that Boys make better friends. Boys tend to tell each other what they are thinking while girls and even women sometimes keep feelings about each other inside. Once I liked this girl and one of my friends hooked up with her. It was not a big deal, I think it was 9th grade, but the friend kind of did it quietly behind my back because the girls liked him and he wanted to get with her without hurting my feelings. So when we spoke about it later, I explained that I was only mad about the way it was done and not the act itself.

I don't think girls have a propensity to talk things out with their friends. In my experience, girls just hold a grudge and talk about their friends to other friends. They don't seem to be able to be open about things like boys can.

The wif told the story about trying to be open about something with girlfriends and it backfired on her big time. Maybe part of it was the way she did it, I don't know, but I think the reason my high school friends remain close is our ability to talk about issues and address them up front rather than bury them or hold grudges.

Thankfully, my daughter had her own list of things that boys have to do which are bad. Her number one was the boy has to ask the girl to marry him. She definitely did not want to be the one to ask for marriage, "embarrassing", she said.

So we got her back on the girls bandwagon but I hope I can teach her to have friends like I think a boy would. She has made phone calls on several occasions already trying to clear the air with friends and she is only eight so I have high hopes for her.